We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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