even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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