Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize