hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
