i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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