I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
ttyl tear gas
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
