were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
