worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
