she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
