Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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