drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
