Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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