I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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