Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
