i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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