thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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