high people should be assigned attendants
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
