I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize