I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
