The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
