yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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