she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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