More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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