Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
