Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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