i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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