if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
