If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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