Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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