Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
