i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize