I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
When did angry sex become our thing?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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