even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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