he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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