guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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