Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
