Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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