She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
