thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize