Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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