: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
