I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize