Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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