I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
