i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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