I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
