I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
