We won't sleep together?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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