??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
