so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
