and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
