i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
