you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
