so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
