Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We had sex on a dog bed..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
