he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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