The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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