It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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