Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
