And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
