the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize